how do you cope?

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All of us deal with stress and hardship a little differently. Some of us hit the gym, while others eat entire pints of ice cream. Unfortunately, there is no way to shun stress from our lives completely- it's part of what makes us stronger and more well-rounded people. This little friend can reek havoc in our personal lives or professional lives. It creeps up on us when we take on too much. It knows no boundaries. It travels; stressed at work could mean stressed at home. Regardless of what aspect of life is stressing us out the most, the key is to have a coping plan in place to fend off those frustrations. Finding an activity that's healthy, positive, and gets those feel good juices flowing is going to help us not only keep our emotions in check, but allow us to witness a great life lesson; don't sweat the small stuff. We spend so much time getting worked up about things that are either A. out of our control, or B. are so minimal when considered in the grand scheme of things. So we bomb a test- guess what? It happens to the best of us and in 5 years, it won't matter anymore. So we are late to an important appointment- guess what? Nothing you can do but recover graciously. Same idea can be applied to anything. Ask yourself this: Is stressing over it really worth it? Sometimes, it is. Stress can actually be a very healthy reaction, but stressing too much and too often is very unhealthy. Once you've weighed in on whether or not having a meltdown over something in your life is worth it, look to your coping plan. What is a coping plan you ask? Well, it's a list of activities you can look to when you are feeling especially overwhelmed. We all know what our favorite things to do are, and there are no better things to do when we're feeling stressed out than those.

My personal coping plan includes running and baking; or even something as simple as indulging in a Starbucks latte can totally turn my anxiety level down a notch. Some of us have the tenancy to want to eat everything in sight, withdraw from our friends, drink heavily, or just become an absolute nightmare to be around. We take things out on our loved ones, get frustrated by absolute strangers, and let the stress consume us. This is no way to go through life. Start by jotting down the activities you enjoy, and also consider some of the following: working out, lighting candles, massage, hiking, writing, reading, yoga, meditation, cooking, listening to music, spending time with friends, going out to dinner, or playing a game. The key is finding what works best for you- if attempting a new recipe in the kitchen is only going to make you more stressed, then don't do it. We are all unique creatures, and we know ourselves deep down better than anyone else does. The next time you feel yourself feeling overwhelmed, look to your list. Listen to your mind and your body, and become increasingly aware of how stress affects you. If you learn to channel your stress in a healthy way, you will see a big difference in your mood and outlook. And when all else fails, remember that "this too, shall pass."

spread to thin.

I have found myself, several times in my life, with just too much on my plate. And it's safe to say that we've all found ourselves in that scenario at one point or another. Whether it's trying to balance school, a career, a family, friends, a workout routine, a beauty regimen, a diet, a budget, a relationship, a social life, or any of these (plus more!) combined, there will inevitably reach a point where you sort of hit a wall. Often times, we experience heightened emotional reactions, while other times our bodies shut down and we become physically sick- think colds, the flu, skin breakouts, or cold sores. When we experience a high level of stress (especially over long periods of time- chronic stress or anxiety), we are making ourselves more susceptible to illness. It's important to focus on prevention- keeping ourselves from getting extremely worn down in the first place. This may mean sacrificing activities when our schedules become too extreme. Many of us think we are some sort of superhuman superhero, but the reality is we are not (Harsh, I know). We all have our limitations, and our daily requirements for healthy functionality- things like sleep or caloric intake that allow us to "run" properly.

Prevention is the best way to avoid hitting a brick wall physically and emotionally. Sometimes you need to learn to say "no." It's hard for some of us because we want to be able to do and have it all. We want to make everyone happy, surpass expectations, and prove to the world that nothing will get us down, oh no it won't. We all need a hefty dose of reality though; we can only perform to the best of our ability if we take care of #1 first. You can only be as good for your boyfriend, wife, family, children, boss, coworker, or workout instructor, as you are yourself. You can't expect to pass through your day with flying colors if parts of you are malfunctioning.

So how can we prevent ourselves from pushing ourselves too far? How do we know when to say "when"? How do we know when enough is enough? The truth is that no one knows you better than yourself, especially when it comes to how you are feeling on the inside. Don't feel like having to turn something or someone down because you know you physically or emotionally cannot handle it is going to be an end-of-the-world disappointment- life goes on. The only person you will be letting down in the long run is yourself, when you inevitably reach that point where you are physically ill, emotionally distraught, and then forced to sit out because your body won't let you take another step. Take a moment to consider the big picture when you commit to adding something else to your schedule or agreeing to meet certain expectations. Ask yourself if it's truly going to be worth it. Because I guarantee there will be a point where you do find yourself saying it wasn't worth it.

Tips for Prevention: Make a schedule. Be honest with others. Be honest with yourself. Set limitations. Establish boundaries. Ask for help. Verbalize your concerns. Learn your limits. Give yourself a break. Take care of yourself. Make priorities. Take some credit. Above all, just be realistic- you are one single human being, and as much as you think you can go through life constantly pressing the envelope, it will catch up with you. And recovering is much harder than preventing is.

destressing discoveries from a mountain top.

I went on the most invigorating hiking adventure yesterday, which meant several hours (between the commute to the mountain and the actual hike) to do some serious self-reflection; the last month hasn't exactly been a walk in the park. Stress is a reality of life and unfortunately has created a growing number of serious medical problems in recent times. It knows no gender, race, or age- it reeks health havoc on all types of people. Occasionally we are haunted by a good case of "sweating the small stuff," which can be easily handled by taking a step back and recognizing that the immense anxiety we are experiencing is created by our own doing. At other times, it's real problems creating real issues in your daily life. Regardless of what is stressing you out, having coping mechanisms in place for times you feel like yanking your hair out is the only way to get by. Most of us have our own little tricks that keep us from screaming at the top of our lungs, but in case you are just at your wits end, do not fret, help is here!

Exercise; Physical activity causes your brain to release endorphins AKA "feel good" chemicals. Doesn't matter how you get it, but some of my personal favorites are walking, running, hiking, fitness classes, yoga, golf, and biking. I urge you to try something new, whether solo, with a friend, or with your significant other, because you might just get hooked- like I did with BodyPump.

Creative Crafts; How fun is it to give a room in your home a facelift? Even just adding a new piece of artwork, a sweet smelling candle, picture frame, or side table makes such a difference. This weekend I spent a couple hours revamping our living room, and just doing a little decluttering brought the relaxation potential in that room through the roof. Some other crafty activities are painting, yard saleing, gardening, baking, thrifting, scrap booking, reorganizing, cleaning, or snapping some photographs. 

The Great Outdoors; A breath of fresh air does every body good! Aside from the usual physical outdoor activities, think about walking around a winery, checking out a farmers market, going fruit picking, puddle jumping (relive your youth a little!) "borrowing" a friends furry friend for a walk, or even just some window shopping.

Thinking Deeply; Let go of everything you are holding on to via writing a journal entry, a blog post, a poem, listening to music, calling a friend, taking a bath, lighting some candles, sipping some tea, taking a cat nap, reading a good book, getting a massage, planning a weekend away, or meditating. Gain some perspective by participating in volunteer work at a homeless shelter, a rape crisis center, or soup kitchen. Sometimes just having some alone time to reflect is the best medicine for stress.

Buddy Up; Having an outlet to vent is very helpful since keeping it all locked inside will only turn you into a big grey ball of anxiety! Make a phone call or meet a friend for a cup-o-joe, dinner or cold beverage. Attend a concert, visit a museum, or have a "girls night in."

What to Avoid; Try to neither cut down on your usual caloric intake, nor increase it. There is no such thing as no-calorie cookies! Don't lock yourself in a room and avoid all human contact. Avoid going shopping; some people love "shopping therapy," but just make sure you aren't sabotaging your budget in doing so. Don't act impulsively. Avoid the scale. Don't think taking drugs or chugging alcohol will make it all go away; if anything, it will only provide temporary relief (and a hangover). Don't run away from it; it'll still be there when you stop running. And lastly, don't take it out on the people that care for you the most; they are ONLY trying to help.