it will take some courage.

You hear of the people surviving in unimaginable situations. Being part of the 1% that recovers. The ones that fight an impossible uphill battle...but somehow, someway make it to the top. Those that defy the odds. The ones that push onward no matter what. And the ones that risk their lives. Those are heroes. Those are the ones with the courage to fight and the courage to survive.

You don't need to be at odds with cancer, fight a blazing fire, stand face-to-face with a criminal, or swim in shark infested waters to be considered courageous. Every single person will be faced with opposition in life. Every one of us will have to make a tough decision. We will have to decide where to draw the line. Determine when enough to enough. Stand up for something we believe in. Press forward despite others' opinions. Do something because it feels "right." Follow our hearts. Push our limits. Step outside of our comfort zone.

As we all know, there are repercussions for every action and decision in life whether good or bad. And that's what makes "everyday" courage so difficult to bear. I'm not talking about being brave in the romanticized sense. I'm talking about day-to-day courage. The courage to get out of bed in the morning. To face a tough situation at the office. To stand up to someone trying to drag you down. To cut someone out of your life completely. The courage to keep trying even after numerous failures. To run that whole mile. To lose that 5 pounds. To quit that habit that you've had for 10 years. To get back on the bandwagon after falling off. The courage to walk away. The courage to try something new. The courage to never look back. The courage to propel yourself forward in life, and as human beings. Emotionally, physically, mentally.

What requires no courage for some, takes every ounce of courage for others. 

Remember that we are all fighting our own battles.

Life is about pushing ourselves beyond our usual comforts. Improving ourselves as human beings. Too many of us stick to the high road and live in mediocrity. Why? Well, because we haven't mustered up the courage to be something more. We all are capable, but it requires us to dig deep within ourselves. Which is why you and only you will know when the time is right for an act of courage. You will have to accept that it may not be easy, it may hurt a little, and it may require a very large step outside of your comfort zone. But you can do it. You can muster up that courage and make that change. You can be something more. You can do something more. You can give something more. You can push your limits even more. You are courageous.

staring down fear.

Heights. Spiders. Flying. Elevators. Snakes. Public Speaking. Traffic. Death.

Fear. It stops us in our tracks. Creates a pit in our stomach. Makes us cringe. We dodge it when we can, but there are times it's unavoidable. We have no choice but to face it head on, guns blazing.

Sometimes we grow out of our fears. Throughout childhood and well into adolescence, I was terrified of elevators. My poor parents would have no choice but to take the stairs when we went into tall buildings- didn't matter if we had to visit the 3rd floor or the 40th. It didn't help that during one family trip during my youth, my brother was tricked by his little friends into getting into an elevator by himself. I watched in horror as the door slid shut, thinking of course, I would never see him again. I cried and carried on for what seemed like hours. My brother was gone forever! The truth was that my mom realized what had occurred, and she spent more time trying to calm me down than she did worrying about my little brother. She knew her 7 year old son was smart enough to stay on the elevator and that someone would "return him." And sure enough, she was right. Within 3 minutes, up came the elevator and the door opened to reveal my little brother with the biggest smile on his face. A nice couple had called the elevator a few floors down from us, and when the door opened to a cute little blonde boy all by his lonesome, they promptly returned him to where he belonged. We were in a family oriented hotel for gosh sake- it made no difference to me though. I thought nothing but the worst, and why? Because elevators scared the living hell out of me.

 I don't recall what specifically allowed me to overcome my fear; although I'm sure at some point I grew embarrassed of what my peers and friends thought of the girl that would climb the stairs for several minutes because she refused to take a 30-second elevator ride. I didn't grow out of my fear overnight, I can tell you that much. It took years. But I tried and tried, and as much as I may not love elevator trips now, at least I make them without going into hysterics. It may seem silly to some, but I think the word proud is an understatement- especially when I am standing in the lobby of a building knowing I have to go to the 16th floor...and I won't be walking up.

Of course, not all my fears disappeared as easily as that one. And I've picked up several more fears as I've traveled through life based on exposure and experiences; movies, media, education.

One of the most honorable traits in a person is their willingness to face their darkest fears and attempt to overcome them once and for all. The person who is terrified of speaking in public, but decides to take a class in public speaking...where weekly speeches are required. The person who is scared of death, but agrees to visit their local graveyard on a field trip. The person who is scared of flying, but books a plane ticket home to visit their sick grandmother. The person who is terrified of being alone, but ends an abusive relationship. The person who is terrified of the unknown, but starts trying new things. It takes immense courage to even stand up in the face of fear, let alone truly succeed in overcoming it. It's about taking small steps in the right direction. Proving to ourselves that we can do anything we set our minds to. Refusing to let that fear run our lives any longer.

It may be painful. It may be embarrassing. It may result in sweat and tears. An upset stomach. Passing out. But what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. Trying and failing is a hell of a lot better than never trying at all. It's commendable to witness someone staring fear in the eye. We all have them, and we can all relate. So go, today, and do something about one of your fears. Attempt. Try. Push. Challenge. And at least if we're still scared after, we can't say we didn't try.

"money in the bank."

I remember so vividly cross country running seasons my junior and senior year of High School. Long runs, short runs, umpteen practices, sprinting, calisthenics, hill runs, stretching, warm ups, cool downs, pre race routine, team dinners, personal records, and team victories. I still can recall the race day nerves, the pressure, and finally the shotgun telling you to run your heart out. And I did run my heart out many, many times. Pushing myself to personal limits, but knowing that the pain would be temporary and worth it in the long run- literally.

Once a week we had a hill training day. Our coaches would run with us to the bottom of this insane hill about a half a mile from our high school and we'd run up and down it for what seemed like hours. And when our team got to our final couple repetitions, and we were exhausted, sweating, and felt as if our legs had 50 pound rocks tied to them, my coach would always say "This is money in the bank." And what he meant was that our hard work now, would essentially be "stored" away until race day, having done all those brutal workouts, would be what propelled us across that finish line in flying colors. And as much as we'd roll our eyes at him, I realized come race day how right the man was. As much as some of our practices seemed absurd and torturous, come race day we never regretted all that pain our coaches put us through. It was that pain that made us each better runners and an altogether stronger team.

I still remember those seasons like it was just yesterday. We'd leave the locker room and run to the bottom of that big old hill; and I'd look up to the top and know what the next hour had in store for me. I'd cringe and curse through the whole thing, but when it would end, I'd celebrate it like I had just survived a natural disaster.

My coach may have been referring to stocking up on solid training days when he said that we were putting money in the bank, but the saying reaches far beyond hills, 3.1 mile race day courses, and our running shoes. The concept of "saving" applies to all facets of life. We set goals and work hard now so that one day we can reap the benefits of our immense efforts. Whether it's at work, in the classroom, at the gym, in our relationships, or on the field, to truly be as successful as we are capable of, we will have to push ourselves. We will have to take the sometimes painful steps necessary to meet the end goal. And you can guarantee some of those steps are going to be the hardest ones you've ever taken. Yet it's taking each of those steps that will lead you to victory. So the next time you are about to skip a class, slack off at work, procrastinate, half-ass a workout, become complacent, lazy, or settle for 'average' in life, remember what my coach said. Work hard now and you will reap the benefits of doing so later. It may not be as crystal clear as how a training run will directly affect your performance on race day, but life has a way of rewarding us for our hard work in strange ways. It's called deferred gratification. With a lot of hard work and a little bit of patience, you will succeed in reaching all your dreams.

risky business.

It's no big secret that this small town Vermont girl doesn't have much of a "live on the edge" personality. I've never been skydiving, ridden a mechanical bull, gone para-sailing, done donuts in my car, smoked a cigarette, had a one-night stand, or experimented with drugs. I've never been on a blind date, shoplifted, not studied for an exam, dropped out of school, traveled a long distance alone, or gambled. These are the types of items that you will find on any standard bucket list of risky activities.

The real risk takers in life tend to live by mantras like, "I can sleep when I'm dead," or "Life's too short not to try everything once." At the other end of the spectrum, you'll find the people who may live by the words, "Life is precious and fragile," or "I have too much to lose." Fear not though, because somewhere in the middle, there is a perfect balance.
 
My mother recently picked up some handcrafted coffee mugs that were engraved with the following quote: "Continue your journey beyond the things you already know, as new opportunities are just around the bend." And how true it is- Sometimes the only way to discover your true capability is to step out of your comfort zone. New opportunities are not often handed to us, we have to work to reach them. We have to step outside of the familiar and take a leap of faith that things will work out. I am a firm believer that all things in life work out just as they are supposed to, when they are supposed to. If you live by this too, then you know that as scary as taking a new risk may be, in the end it will be worth it. You'll either absolutely excel, or it will teach you a valuable lesson about life and who you are. This may mean leaving a job you don't enjoy, leaving a relationship that you have doubts about, moving somewhere new, pursuing a new hobby, pushing yourself physically, exposing your vulnerabilities, putting yourself out there, standing up for something you believe in, or trying something you have never tried before. Follow your heart, listen to your gut, and chase your dreams. Always remember that you are capable of anything.

every 24 hours.

As much as it may not feel like every day is the opportunity to make a fresh start- it truly is. We have the luxury of living our lives in increments of 24 hours. The sun sets at night, laying to rest all the hardships and pain of the day. We fall asleep with hope that tomorrow will be even better than yesterday. The sun rises every morning, shining down on the new opportunities of today- which most of us find difficult to see. Somehow we fight hard internal battles as we try to let go of yesterday and move on to the present moment. We struggle to lay to rest the hurt of the past, and struggle to wake up feeling that inspired. We hold onto things for too long. We let them consume us and hang over our heads for days on end. We can't let go. Yet, we've all heard the sayings about the importance of laying the past to rest and looking instead to the future; for we cannot commit ourselves to making the best of today if we let the past dictate our future happiness. We all make mistakes. We all struggle. We all hurt. It's the way of life. It's those experiences that shape us into the person we are today. However, that doesn't mean we should let our past wholly dictate our futures. The most powerful thing you can do for yourself is to let every day truly end when you lay your head to rest at night. Let go of the hurt and anger, and flush out the hard feelings as you close your eyes on today and prepare for whatever life will bring tomorrow. Wake up every day with a positive attitude. The attitude that "I was blessed with this new day, with this sunrise, and with the opportunity of X, Y, and Z." Every day should be treated as a luxury, and unfortunately most of us don't focus on this profound fact of life. It often takes a profound personal loss to realize just how fragile life truly is. Don't let it take a tragedy to learn the lesson that tragedy teaches. Life is short. Allow yourself to let go of the "muck", stop sweating the small stuff, and wake up each day rejuvenated by the knowledge that today, you can do anything you set your mind to.

loving yourself.

Too many people in this world have a self-esteem problem. What happened to being happy with who you are? What happened to accepting yourself, flaws and all? What happened to embracing who you are, both inside and outside? What happened to being confident in yourself and your decisions? What happened to walking tall? What happened to believing you are worth something? Respecting yourself? Believing in yourself?

For too many of us, our positive thoughts about who we are have disappeared. We feel defeated and worthless. We inevitably all deal with bullying, hateful words, disrespect from others, "rejection," and failure at some point in our lives. For some of us, these types of things resonate with us for years and years following. We may find ourselves struggling with depression, eating disorders, thoughts of suicide, social anxiety, and shame. We may deal with intense embarrassment and refuse to ever truly put ourselves out there again, whether in the workplace, in friendships, in romantic relationships, or via social activities.

We will talk down to ourselves. We will actually begin to internalize the negative thoughts that other people have put in our head, or the thoughts we have put in there ourselves. We become angry and begin to hate ourselves for our "downfalls," and our positive outlook on life disappears.

"I'm overweight, no one will ever want to marry me."
"I'm too short, no one will ever take me seriously."
"I got fired from my job,so I'm incapable of doing anything right."
"I failed my exam even after studying 12 hours, so I'm dumb."
"I've never kissed a girl, so I'm ugly."
"I can't afford to wear designer jeans, so I won't ever be popular."
"I have acne, so no one will think I'm beautiful."

Overweight or under. Black or white. Short or tall. Poor or rich. Failed or passed. Hired or fired. Single or taken. Married or divorced.  No matter what your circumstances are in life, you are important. You are meaningful, powerful, strong, and worthy. You are beautiful, smart, and capable. Don't let your "flaws" get in the way of embracing who you are; don't let anyone tell you that you aren't worth something. Because you, my friend, are priceless. You are individual. You are unique. Every single part of you, down to the last freckle, grey hair, or pound, is important- it's what makes you, you. And you need to stop letting other people dictate who you should or shouldn't be. Just being you is the most powerful defense you have in life. There is nothing more inspirational than someone that embraces and lives their life based on who they truly are.

Although the world [and its inhabitants] can be the most hateful and angry place at times, it can also be the most bright and beautiful. Perspective dictates all. Fill your mind with positivity. Stay optimistic. Be tough. Speak to yourself and others will love and compassion. Remember that everyone [including y-o-u!] is fighting an internal or external battle that you may not know or understand. Kill only with kindness and praise. And above all, know that your daily struggles and hardships will pay off. Consider every single day as a new opportunity to push yourself to new limits and to embrace yourself and your reality.

are you settling?

We've all been told to never settle for less than we deserve. Usually it comes from our parents, family, close friends, or lovers; a group of people who cares about your happiness and well-being above all else. Often straight from the heart, uttering these words is usually a result of: 1. Witnessing specific people taking advantage of you [ie: dating someone that doesn't appreciate you, dealing with friends who don't look out for your best interest, spending time with people that drain your emotionally, letting people put you down]. Or 2. Watching you take advantage of yourself  [ie: staying at a job that makes you miserable, choosing a career path that isn't right for you, putting yourself in bad situations repetitively, living in a place you hate].

Most of us, more or less, understand what someone is getting at when they tell you that you shouldn't settle for less than you deserve in life. The hardest part is realizing that you can do far better in life than what you may be allowing yourself at this very moment. The tragedy of it all doesn't lie in recognizing the disappointment first hand, the tragedy is many of us continue to stay in a situation because it's what's easier. We stay at a job because it's a paycheck and the job market right now is a struggle. We stay with a boyfriend or girlfriend because it's easier than being alone, and having to move our stuff out of the mutual apartment would be too much work. We go to and stay in college because it's what's expected from our parents. We stay in a tough marriage out of fear of disappointing our families. We continue to let friends borrow money or bail them out of trouble because we feel guilty when you don't. We continue to feed into our unhealthy physical health because we're lazy. Regardless of what the situation may be, we need to stop thinking about what's easier and start thinking about what's best for ourselves. It's ok to be selfish in life. It's ok to want nothing short of the best. But what isn't ok is making excuses for why we aren't experiencing life to it's fullest at this very moment. We have a mere 100 years to live, and each day should be lived to it's fullest. We should never find ourselves caught in ordinary, when we can be living extraordinarily. If you are caught in mediocrity, why not push yourself to new heights? Why settle for a lifetime of somewhere in the middle?

 The important part of breaking the cycle is admitting you are settling. You have to take your head out of the sand and recognize that you are not truly happy. Everyone is capable of happiness- but you have to work for it. Happiness isn't handed to you, you have to commit yourself to creating a lifestyle and surrounding yourself with people that will help you to get the most out of life. Anything in life is achievable, and that's what many people refuse to believe. Life is too short to be pessimistic- looking on the "bright side" of things is sometimes the best way to go. The world can be a terrible, tragic, and depressing place at times; many of us know this first hand. But the truth of the matter is that your world can be comprised of less sadness than you may think. There are going to be things that happen that you cannot control. Good or bad, happy or sad. Take control of your life and your happiness. Hold yourself accountable for the life you are choosing to live right now. If you know you can do better, you can get more out of life, and you are determined to live with passion, then DO IT. You will have setbacks, roadblocks, and days you question if taking the path less traveled is truly worth it. Someday you will stop and realize what an incredible life you have created for yourself. It won't be perfect, but it will be one you can take responsibility for. You will give yourself a pat on the back for insisting on living a life of major accomplishments, happiness, passion, and personal love. If you are well on your way there already, then be proud of yourself! Too many people go through a life of mediocrity, but realistically no person should ever have to settle for less than they deserve. Set high standards for yourself, and surround yourself with people- friends, significant others, coworkers, trainers, doctors, and family- that have your best interest in mind and will support you on your quest to improving your life.

The biggest human temptation is to settle for too little. -Thomas Merton

have you heard of the 90/10 Principle?

Consider this; 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean?  We really have NO control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in the traffic. We have NO control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How...? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light. However, you can control your reaction. Do not let people fool you. YOU can control how you react. 

Let us use an example:  You are having breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what has just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your wife and you criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish her breakfast and getting ready to go to school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles per hour in a 30 mph speed limit zone.

After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60.00 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minute late, you realize you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your wife and daughter. Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is D.

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say: Its okay, honey, you just need to be more careful next time. Grabbing a towel you go upstairs and change your shirt. You grab your briefcase, and you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early a cheerfully greet the staff. Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you reacted. You really have no control over 10% of what happens in your life. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 Principle: 

1. If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You do not have to let the negative comments affect you. 

2. React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, or getting stressed out.

3. How do you react if someone cuts you off in the traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? (A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Who cares if you arrive 10 seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?

4. Remember the 90/10 Principle and don't worry about it. You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time to find a new job.

5. The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger, why stress out? It will just make things worse. 

Now you know the 90/10 Principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. Apply it. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90/10 Principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this Principle. The result? You will see it by yourself! Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and headaches. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 Principle. It can change your life! Enjoy it! It only takes willpower to give ourselves permission to make the experience. Absolutely everything we do, give, say, or even think, its like a Boomerang. It will come back to us... If we want to receive, we need to learn to give first... Maybe we will end with our hands empty, but our heart will be filled with love... And those who love life, have that feeling marked in their hearts.

Author: Stephen Covey

the view through rose-colored glasses.

We are faced with thousands of choices every single day, most of which we don't even realize we are making. You chose to open your eyes. You chose to turn your alarm off. You chose to get up. You chose to make your bed. You chose to get in the shower. You chose what you were going to wear. You chose to get into your car. You chose to go to work. Or maybe you chose not to get out of bed. Chose not to shower, or dress, or go to work. Regardless of how you got to this point today, you are now sitting here reading this post.

And just like we choose how we go through every day, we also choose our outlook and perspective on life. We have experiences and people that have shaped us into who and what we are today. So we sit here on October 6th, 2011 and I have to ask, is your glass half-full or half-empty? Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist? We all have those days (or weeks) when we can't help but assume the worst, worry the most, complain about everything, and be the worst kind of Debbie Downer in existence. But it's like that famous quote from Blow:

"Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on."

Being an occasional pessimist can be justified- we can't expect to never get down on life. Terrible things happen and we have to cope. There is a specific process we go through including periods of anger and sadness. This is usually followed by justification, and finally acceptance and forgiveness. The point is that pessimism is legitimate in small bouts, but we shouldn't go through life in this manner- for some reason, some of us truly do. And maybe that pessimism is justified by our past experiences. Things like; My last boyfriend cheated on me, so this one will too. My parents got divorced, so real love must not exist. My sister got cancer, so terrible things happen to good people. I found a text message in my boyfriends phone from his Ex, so he must still love her. My father used to hit me, so he hates me. My best friend was killed in a car accident, so people can't be trusted. My friend never emailed me back, so she must be mad at me. My wife had an affair, so I must be unworthy. I just got fired, so I must not be good enough. I'm overweight, so no one will ever love me.

We have all caught ourselves doing this. Growing up my parents used to always say, "Stop feeling bad for yourself." I used to get so annoyed when they told me this, but in hindsight they couldn't have been more right. We are making a choice to sit there and sulk in our unhappiness, rather than trying to turn it around. 

 If you've been in a funk lately, it's time to break free. You have got to force the fact that life is too short to look through broken glasses instead of rose-colored ones on yourself. Because it is. Life is short. People come and go. Cherish what you have each and every day because you don't know what tomorrow will bring- and I mean that in the most optimistic way. You have to learn to trust that life works out. That everything happens for a reason. That timing is everything. You have to learn that you will get hurt, damaged emotionally, and it will change you as a person. You have to remember that life is hard and sometimes it feels like a roller coaster ride that's doomed to crash and burn. Life isn't a walk in the park and neither are relationships. Relationships require work. They require sacrifice and compromise. They require honesty and integrity. Trust and communication. Life requires hard work. You have to push yourself. You have to actively pursue your goals. Things don't often just get handed to you. You have to pursue new opportunities with an open mind. You will have to forgive yourself for your mistakes. Learn that you will hurt people in profound ways; whether it's on purpose or not. Words can kill. Poor choices will be made. Hindsight is always 20/20. Rejection hurts. Love is unexplainable. Hearts break. Disappointment happens. 

But at the end of the day remember this; life is too short to hold back. Wake up every day knowing you will do everything in your power to make it better than yesterday. Push yourself to great heights. If you fall, pick yourself up again. Share your thoughts with no reservations. And above all, know that the only worry you should have is that one day you will look back in regret that you never had gave yourself the opportunity to live your life to its absolute fullest. Each day should be treated as a blessing, a blank slate; one in which you have taken everything from your past, reflected upon it, and then pushed forward in the most profound way.