stop holding yourself back.

I recently discovered a wonderfully inspiring article about how we can start living more fulfilled and happier lives, which can be read in its entirety here. And what better time to reflect on how we are holding ourselves back from living the best lives possible than the beginning of a brand new year. Hello 2012! Below you will find some fabulous food for thought, as written by Marc & Angel.

Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.

Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.

Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing. 

out with the old, in with the new... 2012.

Just as I don't really believe in the traditional idea of a diet (I prefer the term lifestyle change for its positive reinforcement and longevity), I don't believe it should take a new calendar year to make positive changes in your life. Yet there is no denying that we have reached the final days of 2011 and with that comes a time of serious reflection; an entire year's worth of accomplishments, hardships, experiences, growth and change. As we look forward to 2012 with positivity, let us first look back on this post from September, found below. Remember that there is no better time to make those life changes, big or small, than today.

09.14.2011

A peak ahead; new years resolutions.

Has anyone heard of making a New Year's resolution in September? Of course not. NYR's are for the end of December, after crunching through the not-so-waist-friendly holiday season. We will wake up this January 1st much like we have for years past; we'll expect the sun to be shining, our willpower to be blazing, our holiday hangover to be on its way out, and for it to be Day 1 of our journey to check off our entire New Year's Resolution list- because this year is different, right? Newsflash; studies show that of the 45% of Americans that actually make NYRs, only somewhere around 8% actually succeed.  So what gives? The stigma of the New Year's Resolution has probably deterred a large amount of people from making them in the first place, or maybe past failure has kept us from wanting to try again. When it comes down to it, I think the biggest problem is how we spend all year pushing off making new goals until the clock strikes midnight on December 31st. Stop making the excuse that you will "start next week" or "start next year". Start now. If you have something you want to achieve, you have to put an actual plan of action into place. Whether it's May or October start pushing yourself to expand your personal potential right now. Our struggle with self-improvement often comes from laziness, endless excuses, and lack of planning. Take a second today and write down a list of things you already know you want to accomplish, whether you are a NYR maker or not. Maybe you do want to lose 20 pounds, eat healthier, save money for a vacation, pay off your CC debt, or seek marriage counseling to improve your relationship. There is nothing wrong with your goal- whether big or small, seemingly impossible or just a simple walk in the park, your goals and aspirations belong to you. Don't let anyone deter you from reaching your dreams. Making your list is the simple part. It's the action part that people struggle with. If the goal is fairly large, like paying off your CC debt for example, you need to come up with checkpoints to attaining it. For example, instead of saying that you'll pay it off some point during the next 6 months, say that you will take $100 dollars out of every paycheck and put it aside, rather than making your usual trip to the shopping mall. If your resolution is losing 20 pounds, don't just go get a gym membership and say you'll go 4 times a week. Instead, look at your schedule and commit to going on certain days, or find a fun class that meets on the same days every week- routine is key! If your resolution is to eat healthier, don't just go to the store this week and buy only vegetables and diet coke. Instead, work on adding or subtracting one "bad" thing from your current diet each week. Trying to go cold turkey on your current regime will only make you more apt to fall off the bandwagon after 3 weeks and turn you into a cranky crab. Once you have determined your goal and made an action plan, you are well on your way. All the pieces are in place for you to get there in no time. There will be days of immense struggle, and days you feel like a million bucks. That is part of what comes with breaking out of your usual habits and wanting to be better. You know what they say, it's not going to be easy, but it will be worth it. No one knows you better than you know yourself. You know your darkest secrets and worst habits. What we often don't give ourselves credit for is the incredible potential we possess. Each and every one of us is capable of attaining greatness if we simply believe in ourselves, plan accordingly and commit to not stopping until we get there.

Where flowers bloom, so does hope. -Lady Bird Johnson.

holiday hangover.

The same thing occurs during the days following Thanksgiving as do the days after Christmas- a holiday hangover. And no, you didn't even had to have taken a sip of alcohol all weekend to know what I'm taking about. Too much food. Too little sleep. Too much wine. Too much money spent. But many, many good times with loved ones. And that's what makes the holiday season so wonderful. As the Christmas decorations come down, and the frosted gingerbread men disappear, here are 10 things to focus on this post-holiday week.

10. Thank You Cards. With the prevalence of technology these days, it's easy to send a thank you text or email. But challenge yourself and don't take the easy way out this time around! Hand write a card or letter to those that graced you with their presence this holiday season. It seems much more personal this way- plus who doesn't love receiving actual mail these days?

09. Sweat. Remember that gym membership you pay for every month? That perfectly good bike path that runs through your town? That yoga class you used to go to every Monday? Those workout clothes you insisted on buying this summer? With New Years Eve right around the corner, partaking in a few sweat sessions this week will help you feel confident and beautiful when it's time to put on that little black dress.

08. Budget. If checking your bank statement and credit card bills are making you cringe, it's time for a post-holiday-spending budget. It's easy to fall into bad spending habits- a morning latte from Starbucks every weekday, manicures twice a month, umpteen pairs of shoes that you just MUST have, and lunches out with coworkers. Small changes equals big results. Simply cutting those splurges out for a few months can save you a boatload; and after a while you won't even miss them!

07. Eats. The holiday's are a prime time for over consumption of processed sugars, fats, and carbohydrates. Plus, portion control is at an all time minimum. The easiest way to get back on track is to cleanse your house of all the holiday candies and baked goods. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Once you make room on your kitchen counters and shelves, hit the grocery store and fill your cart with lots of fresh produce, dairy, and lean protein. Healthy isn't hard once you get the hang of it.

06. Holiday Libations. A glass of wine here, some champagne there. A rum and egg nog, and of course, your favorite heavy beer. Take a vow to detox until New Years Eve, but don't go overboard with your celebration. Remember you can still have fun without downing numerous alcoholic beverages- plus, how great would it feel to wake up on the first day of 2012 without a nasty hangover?

05. Skin and Body. If you can't afford to treat yourself to a professional facial, check your local drugstore for a cleansing mask and skin scrub. Take a bath and rescue your nutrient and moisture hungry outer layer with some moisturizer. Set up daily/weekly appointments- even if it's just an at-home personal pampering session. Save your cash by doing an at home manicure/pedicure with your girlfriends prior to the upcoming celebratory weekend. Rest, relax, and rejuvenate.

04. You Time. Take some time for yourself this week. Write in a journal, make a phone call to an old friend, go for a walk, try a new craft project, or listen to your favorite album. With the hustle and bustle of the holiday's drawing to a close, reconnect with yourself and what's important.

03. New Years Resolutions Future Goals. Cliche, of course. This year make your goals detailed and achievable. Instead of "lose 10 pounds," include a weekly gym schedule and grocery list. Instead of "get a new job," make a point to apply to 5 new postings a week. Set timelines, create checkpoints, and break it down into bite sized pieces. The more thorough you are with your list, the easier it will be for you to visualize actually reaching your dreams.

02. Pick an inspiration. Find a quote, poem, or song that you wish to live your life by for the upcoming year. Every time you feel like you are falling off track during 2012, go back to it. It will be the perfect reminder of what you stand for, and will serve as that push to get back on track. My favorite? "Once you've flown past the summit of your fears, nothing will seem impossible."

01. Dream Big. You, yes you, can do anything in life. If you can dream it, you can do it.

happy christmas.

Have a holly jolly Christmas.

Wishing you and yours a wonderful holiday weekend!

it's the little things.

As much as the holiday season can be full of cheer, the change in seasons can take a serious toll on your emotional well being and outlook on life. The excerpt below gives you a little insight into what life in Vermont is like for me during the winter and early spring- those average low's are no joke. Just looking at what's coming down the pipeline for me come January is giving me the blues- as it seems to every year!

Regardless of where you are currently calling "home", it's easy to let things like the weather conditions or boring routines get the best of us. Whether it feels like the same old workout, same old 9-to-5, same old dark-when-I-go-to-work-and-dark-when-I-get-out-of-work, same old dreary rainy day, same old hairstyle, same old clothes in your closet, same old Friday night, and same old weeknight meals, it's easy to lose sight of all those little things that make life exciting and meaningful. We get frustrated with the sameness that every day or week brings, and slip into the habit of under-appreciating all we have. Let us all take a moment to reflect on all those little things that help power us through our weekly blues. Maybe it's that warm fuzzy fleece blanket that is always waiting for you when you get home from a long day at the office. Maybe it's your weekly trip to Starbucks. Maybe it's one of those emails or letters from someone unexpected. Maybe it's a phone call to a long distance friend. Eating Leftovers. A lunch date at a new restaurant. A weekend away. A 10-hour slumber. A early morning run...in the rain. The little boy in the park taking his first steps. Baking cookies for your coworkers. A new book from the library. Praise for your hard work. Donating to a good cause. An answered prayer from God. Laying in bed with your work clothes still on. A text from a friend. Playing Monopoly...and losing, miserably. A big juicy cheeseburger. A kiss goodnight.

Whatever life throws at you, remember there is always something to be grateful for. Do not wish these days away hoping for something newer or better. Remember that the things that end up meaning the most in the long run are those little things we fail to appreciate each and everyday. So do yourself a favor, and start pointing them out to yourself. Living life in that manner will teach you to appreciate those "same olds." Yes, even those boring workouts, long days at the office, daylight deprivation, the hours on end of rain, the bad hair days, the same wardrobe you've had since the 9th grade, another Friday night on the couch, and yes, even when it's chicken for dinner again.

 (For more "little things," check out this website)

tis the season.

It's that time of the year- Christmas music, reindeer games, Tom the turkey, food overload, warm beverages, ornaments, black friday, gifts, gifts, and more gifts. I sat down to my computer today and began to put together my yearly Christmas list; it filled up with the typical gift cards, running and golf gear, jewelry, shoes, clothes, and sports tickets- it's always the same. As my word document flooded over to a second page, I stopped a moment to really consider what my favorite part of the holiday season was. It's not about opening my gifts or showing off my new belongings, like it was when I was a kid or teenager. No- this year it's all about giving. How great does it feel when you spot the perfect gift for someone you care about? Whether it's the new crafty decoration for mom, grilling gadget for dad, gag gift for brother, sassy and fun gift for the BFF, or the absolutely adorable gift for your significant other, deriving that sense of pure and utter joy isn't hard to come by. And what's even better than buying the perfect gift is personally creating the perfect gift. My favorite gifts (both given and received) have been handmade- handwritten letters, photographs, or poems. Those are the ones that your loved ones hold nearest and dearest. My mom has a box of all of the notes I've written her for her birthday or Christmas, and they melt her heart every time she reads them. When I hear how much of an impact something I've given someone has had on them, there is such an inner peace, happiness, and satisfaction. This holiday season, we should all remember the real meaning of Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, or whatever it is you partake in personally. It's not about what insanely expensive gift you give or receive, it's about creating meaningful memories and giving thanks for all the luxuries you have in life. I urge you to donate some time or resources just once between now and the New Year to someone in need. If you are fortunate enough to be reading this online post right now, you are luckier than 70% of the world's population who don't have access to the internet. If 70% don't have access to the internet, can you imagine how many don't have access to daily meals, clean drinking water, or a place to call home? Let this be your daily reminder to give thanks for every blessing you receive, and to focus on deriving your happiness on giving rather than receiving.

November 1, 2011

Today we welcome a brand spanking new month. Let this fresh start, this clean slate, be your motivation for the changes you've been meaning to make in your life. We often make excuses about how we'll start "tomorrow," but the reality is that today is the tomorrow we were talking about yesterday. So stop the excuses, halt the procrastination, and push forward full steam ahead on what you want to accomplish in your life.

This time of year is particularly difficult for those people looking to make changes in 2 distinct areas of life; one being in the realm of romantic relationships and the other being centered around our fitness. The holidays are quickly approaching, the colder weather setting in, and we often become complacent and unmotivated. And that, my friends, is why you need to read this post with an open and inspired mind.

The holiday season is often most centered around family. Those people in relationships will inevitably need to discuss how the holidays will be spent. Will your significant other be coming to Thanksgiving at your parents house? Will be jet across the country to spend Christmas Eve with his? Will you spend them as a couple?  Will you each continue your old traditions with just your own family? Was there a previous love interest in your life who set a precedent for how you picture the holidays being spent? Have your previous holiday experiences in regards to your significant others left you with a sour taste in your mouth? The holidays are a time where you have to share conversations with that person and determine where you are in your relationship. The more serious, the more apt you will be to invite your other half to participate in your own family traditions. What if you find yourself not on the same page as she is? Maybe you feel like it's too soon to bring him home to mom and dad. Maybe he is terrified to introduce you to his family. Regardless of the situation, it's important to go into these conversations with an open mind. Don't think that just because she isn't ready to take the plunge into sharing holidays together that she doesn't care about you. We all have experiences and values that shape the way we see this time of year and that doesn't mean differing perspectives should make or break a relationship. Take your time to truly think about how you would like this holiday season to go before approaching your other half for a conversation. Having all your thoughts straight will help you go into these sometimes tough conversations feeling confident in yourself and your ideals.

On the other hand, as with any "clean slate," use this time of year to reevaluate the relationship you are in. What could you do to improve things? What sort of expectations do you have for the relationship? What changes need to be made? What do you love about it? Push yourself and push your significant other to be the best you can be both as separate people and as one united force. If you find yourself unhappy, or needing to make some changes, don't be afraid to do so. Take responsibility for your life, your happiness, and your relationship. At the end of the day, there is no one to blame for your joy or your unhappiness but yourself. Take accountability; it's the best thing you can do for yourself and your life.

It's no secret that the holiday season brings about a lot of delicious food in heaping amounts. Think stuffing, turkey, mashed potatoes, pie, baked treats, casseroles and egg nog. The portion sizes are usually out of control, and grazing becomes an easy possibility. If you live in a location that experiences "true winter" you also run into the problem of there being less opportunities to be active outside due to inclement weather, dark mornings and evenings, and chilly temperatures. So how do you stay motivated to keep up with your physical wellness? Make goals. We often loose sight of our goals in the winter months because we pile ourselves under over sized sweaters and snow pants. The opportunities for popping on your bikini become nonexistent, which means those extra pounds can be easily concealed. Keep your gym routine, and consider adding something new to your regimen. Keeping things new and exciting will also boost your positivity. Try out skiing, snowboarding, snowshoeing, or ice skating. Just because you can't run a 5k outside in the snow, doesn't mean you can't hit the treadmill and work on cutting your 3.1 mile run time by 2 minutes. Signing up for a fitness class or finding a gym buddy will leave you not wanting to let anyone down by skipping out on your commitment. Above all else, remember that the holiday season will end, but your physical fitness is forever.

So here we are, November 1st, 2011. Step one is taking out that sheet of paper and making a written commitment to yourself to make this holiday season a success. Remember, you can enjoy all the festivities and still not ruin your fitness, relationship, and personal goals.