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9.06.2011

the importance of being...honest.

How often have we held an opinion, thought, word, or emotion back from someone under the pretense that things would eventually change, or that we might just eventually change our perspective enough where it wouldn't be anything worth addressing? Unfortunately in some cases, holding something back is more detrimental than just putting it out there. There are times we all have things we want to discuss with someone we care about. Sometimes we hold back for fear of hurting their feelings. Other times we hold back because we think we are willing to compromise our emotional well being for that person. And even more often, we think it's just something so teeny tiny, that we'd be "sweating the small stuff" if we even brought it up. Regardless of the situation, it is more important to be honest and up front than to hold something in. John Mayer wrote his song "Say" in 2007, and I continually find ways to apply the lyrics to real life.
Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put 'em in quotations
Say what you need to say [x8]
Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead,
If you could only . . .
Say what you need to say [x8]
Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again
Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open .
We are human. We can only handle so much emotion and pent up feeling before we burst. The dam will break. It's time to break the denial of how something makes you feel. Too often, things don't change. Too often, people don't change. This includes you. Don't bet on you being able to let go of something that is bothering you "in due time." That's not how it works. Speak up. It is far better to bring a concern up in it's very beginning phases then to let it boil inside of you for days, months, or years. More often than not, doing that will hurt you entirely more than how much it will hurt the person you are confessing your feelings to. A person should respect honesty. If you care about someone enough to have a genuine concern about them, then they should care about you enough to appreciate your words. I urge you to be open and communicate with your loved ones- speaking up is going to be the first step into coming to an agreement on how to move forward from here.

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