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9.01.2011

the things your mother taught you.

Mother. Mama. Mommy. Mom. Ma! Some of us have healthy, positive and constructive relationships with our mothers, while others don't have that luxury. I choose the word luxury because it is. I have been blessed with a mother that understands me during my good, my bad, and my ugly. It was by some miracle that she survived my hormonal years when I was an absolute nightmare. If looks or words could kill, she'd be long gone. Every year on her birthday, I give her a letter expressing the immense gratitude I have for her and all she's done to "raise me right." I should save this post for September 8th when she turns just one itty-bitty year older (better, Ma?), but I shared a phone call with her last night that reminded me just how immense a role model she's been to me for twenty-something grueling (and wonderful) years. If there is one thing we should take away from our relationships with our mothers it's that whether we would like to believe it or not, they've been where we are. They have been 18, 21, 25, 30, 40, and for some, the big 5-0. They've had experiences that have shaped who they are, how they raised us, and what their plans are for the future. They have also taken away from their own life experiences what kinds of amazing things they want for the kids- words like successful, healthy, and happy all come to mind. Even on the days when mom is driving us up the wall, she more often than not has our best interest in mind. My mom has shared both her most painful and most exciting experiences with me, along with the lessons she's learned from those experiences. Yet she's never pressured me into learning those lessons via her choices. She understands that I have to figure things out for myself. I need to make my own mistakes. I need to grow as a person through my own first hand experiences. Some mothers prefer to press their opinions on you more than you would probably prefer. Some expect you not to make the same mistakes that they did because they've already been there and done that- and wouldn't dare to dream of you making the same choice. At the end of the day we just need to remember what a blessing a caring and supportive mother is. There are days we will love 'em and days we could just knock 'em silly; but it's incredibly important to keep in mind what a priceless life learning tool we have at our fingertips. It takes countless years for girls to reach a level of mutual understanding with their mothers, and some of us may never get there. Certain topics will always remain off limits- and that's ok. Do what you can to take what mom says to heart, even if you feel like rolling your eyes and running in the other direction. She's older and wiser than you, and may know a thing or two that you don't- hard to believe, right!? If life allows for it, most of us have someone we can call "mom". Through the storm clouds and sunny skies, she'll always be there- whether it's in person, on the phone, or just in our hearts. Do something that will move mountains today- call up that beautiful mother of yours and just say thanks. Realistically, if it wasn't for her putting up with your ridiculous antics, you wouldn't be in the place you are today. Plus, the sooner you open your heart and that big trap of yours, the sooner she could share with you something that will guide you through even your darkest days.

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